today in theater someone asked my friend if he was pro gay and he was like “im not pro gay but im not amateur gay either”
I wish Professor McGonagall ended all her classes by snapping her fingers, saying “McGonagone” then strutting out.
phase two of the hp fandom snapping
spelling bee moderator: contestant 142, your word is “fergalicious”
contestant: *looks around nervously* um… could i please have a definition?
moderator: *flips through dictionary* “fergalicious. definition: make them boys go loco.”
i went to school with a pair of identical twins and one time one of them was like “i’m so hot, i’d fuck me” and he turned to wink suggestively at his brother who just batted his eyelashes and blew a kiss at him.
(Source: mirapendejo)
Ellen: Do you know the sex of the child?
Tina: We decided we are going to wait. We’re going to find out…never.
Ellen: Ok.
Tina: Not even after it’s born.
Ellen: Not even after it’s born?
Tina: I’m just going to see what it chooses to wear to prom.
Ellen: Give it time to figure it out. Good for you.
All the awards.
(Source: alfonsodisparioso)
if you’re gay and someone asks you who the man in your relationship is
just look up at the sky and go
‘it’s jesus
jesus is our man’
(Source: anklegators)